HARRY POTTER QUILTS! Misunderstanding Arises As Boy Wizard Takes Up Creative Needlework
Uproar was narrowly averted in the literary world today when it was revealed that Harry Potter is not quitting the series that has made him a household name, as previously reported, but instead that he has taken up quilting. Relief greeted the news that the handsome star finds quilting and patchwork of all kinds to be "a relaxing hobby and a nice change from saving the world from dark magic." Sources say he has already produced a set of attractive cushion covers and is now planning a large bedspread.
Potter's nemesis Lord Voldemort was unmoved by the debacle. "Not only is this a pathetic attempt to divert public attention from the issues that really matter, but quilting is for old ladies," he said, as he worked on his latest cross-stitch project, a picture of two bunny rabbits kissing under a heart-shaped moon.
This is not the first time that misprints have caused chaos in the Harry Potter fandom. Earlier this week, J.K. Rowling was obliged to issue a press statement to clarify a similar error, confirming that two additional characters would die in Book Seven and that another got a reprieve, and NOT as some careless sources have mistakenly reported, that two characters would diet in Book Seven and that another got raped by Peeves.