Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear

I have seen Star Trek. I liked it. I liked it LOTS.*

It's been a long time since I was excited about a film, let me tell you. And it's just a tad frustrating not to be able to rewind a tape and watch it again now, if only to be able to quote things accurately and remind myself of all the bits I wanted to mention. Nonetheless, I'm just going to have to do it the haphazard old-school way and use my Swiss-cheese memory. Hang on to your transporter console, it may be a bumpy ride...

  • It's a reboot! Yes, I was aware that it was being sold as a reboot, but I somehow expected that "reboot" in this context would simply mean "just handwave the bits that don't fit Trek canon as we know it, plzthnx". It therefore came as a surprise, albeit a refreshing one, that it IS an honest-to-Kahless reboot with an explanation and everything. In fact, the film does a rather sterling job in acknowledging the whole of Trek history -- heck, it even acknowledges Enterprise! I don't even acknowledge Enterprise! -- and then says "Right, we're now going to do something slightly different." Crikey.

  • I'm often not big on old-school shout-outs for their own sake, because there's a risk of it turning into easy (and cheesy) fan service, but most mentions were done with such a light touch and obvious glee that they were irresistible. A gratuitous green chick with prominent warp nacelles! The DOOMED-ness of the anonymous guy who picked the red spacesuit! That mind-control scorpion thingy out of Wrath of Khan! "I have been, and always will be, your friend." (SNIFFLE.) Pike in a wheelchair! (It seems weird to cheer that.) The old-school theme tune at the end!

  • Kirk was just the right mixture of cocky git, hey-ladies, and balls-out swashbuckler. As for the quasi-canonization of Kirk/farm animals -- a surprise to everyone, yet somehow, not THAT much of a surprise.

  • It took a little while for me to fully embrace my dearest Mr Quinto without his brows, especially in his early snooty-nosed by-the-book mode, but when his inner bitchy streak started to come out, he became really rather fabulous ("Out of the chair."). And then they went and amped up the angst with VULCAN GO BOOM. "Oh noes, my planet has been destroyed" is, as all New Who fans know, a great line for picking up chicks, but hey, it seems that Spock needs no help at all in this arena...

  • Speaking of which, I was a little unsure about the Spock/Uhura office romance as a concept at first but their kiss-up was... well, hot. Well hot, in fact. So err, yeah, you both have my approval, go forth and get it on. I must confess, I'm a mite curious about how they first got together, though. (Shagging your college tutor is a bit tacky, innit, even if he can play the "I award marks on logic, not hot sexxings!" card, but I reckon she's clearly on top in that relationship.) The funniest part, of course, was Kirk's face at the realization that Spock has already pulled the hottest chick on the ship, and Spock's "no comment" afterwards. Hee! One in the eye, Jim.

  • Kirk and Spock together had some sparks from the start, but it turns out that all they really needed was LEONARD NIMOY (yay) to turn up and say "You and me, together 4EVAR, it is CANON TRUFAX, you cannot deny!" and by the end, they were like two bitchy old women together. That's a compliment, by the way.

  • The rest of the crew also earned my love in varying quantities:
    • McCoy needs more to do in the next one, but his having a go at Spock was classic old-school and he had a nice way with an aside.
    • Representing for the women, Uhura gets off to a decent start, telling Kirk where to get off and waving her elite tongue talents around. Later on she really only gets to snog Spock, then have a bit of a sit-down to get her breath back, and then do it again. But fair play to the girl; I'd need to do the same thing in her boots. But I'd like to see her kicking a bit more ass next time around, please. It's a new continuity, after all. (Alternatively, they could introduce Janice Rand as a lesbian ninja or something. That would be good too.)
    • Scotty was predictably amusing, particularly his involvement in the tragic fate of Admiral Archer's beagle (I always felt sorry for that dog), although I was less enamoured of his little green friend (a poor substitute for Nick Frost?).
    • Chekov got to wrap his vowels around an authentically silly accent and do a bit of geeky bouncing. Not much, but he did it likeably enough.
    • And as for Sulu - well, clearly nobody could remember what he was famous for other than sitting at the front, and that one time when he did swordfighting. So hey, he got to do those things again!


  • There were a few "whuh?" aspects (big red snooker ball in a fish tank, what are you? A 24th-century lava lamp?), a couple of "why" moments (why cast Winona Ryder to play a fifty-year-old for five minutes?), and some excesses of silliness (Kirk's Big Hands -- although one wonders what became of his other extremities, ahem). As for the skinhead tattooed Romulans driving along in their big be-tentacled reboot machine... well, the film needed some bad guys, and there they were. Not very Romulan, though, and not really much of anything else either. But it barely mattered, since they were only there for the bangs and crashes.

  • Now I come to think of it, perhaps this entire film was an allegory about coffee corporations? The crushing might of the all-powerful Starbucksfleet versus the doomed renegades of Nero? (Admit it, you've heard less likely theories.)

  • But never mind all that. The good things outweighed the bad things by a big, big margin, and at the end, I really just wanted to run around the bridge hugging everyone. BLESS THEM ALL. Ahem.

  • In conclusion: when is the next one, please? How do I wait until then? And where do I queue for the ridiculous fandom excesses?


Would it be unspeakably strange to see a film again, just to make sketches of everybody's footwear? I can't possibly make mini-icons without accurate shoe references, you see...

* Which stands for Lashings Of Trek Squee.
Tags: movies, star trek
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