Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach
redscharlach

Filking heck

This is what happened. In a recent WWR thread, there was discussion of fantasy casting and miscasting for HP, and alkari mentioned that the worst possible casting for Bellatrix Lestrange would probably be Julie Andrews. This entertaining concept wormed its way into my brain and the following filk was born.

Avada Kedavra
(to the tune of A Spoonful of Sugar)

Enter BELLATRIX LESTRANGE. For reasons best known to herself, she is dressed as Mary Poppins, and begins to sing in an exaggeratedly English, Julie-Andrews-style way:

When there is evil to be done
There is no need to use a gun
Just point your wand and shout as you take aim
And any Mudblood you attack will not be coming back
'Cause just one curse
Can put them in a hearse

Yes, Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
Your enemies fall down, your enemies fall down
Yes, Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
In a most convenient way

The Dark Lord's planning his next crime
He does not want you wasting time
You need to get the job done double quick
So if they're runts that you despise
Just hit them right between the eyes
Make sure that scum
Gets blown to kingdom come

Yes, Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
Your enemies fall down, your enemies fall down
Yes, Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
In a most convenient way

Whoever's scalp I want, I get
Without a sliver of regret
And I even killed my cousin in cold blood
Although that traitor tried to fight
And countercursed with all his might
I knew he'd fail
And tumble through that veil

'Cause Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
Your enemies fall down, your enemies fall down
Yes, Avada Kedavra makes your enemies fall down
In a most convenient way!
Tags: filk, harry potter
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