Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

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Somewhere, in a parallel universe... a place where the DW fic writing community was much larger than it is in this universe, and I could feel both braver and more anonymous, I might be tempted to start a DW edition of either Babb Chronicles or Summary Executions. Because let's face it, there's a lot of bad fiction out there, and while most of it is both painful and pitiful, some of it is pants-wettingly hilarious. Sadly, we do not live in that universe, but on a bored trawl through Teaspoon today, I found a couple of twisted gems and thought I'd share. Secretly, mind you, since in this universe, I am a coward every time.

The Frankie Howerd Memorial Summary Award:

"Rose wants forever, and the Doctor wants to give it to her."

All I can add is that I did check the fic and I do not think the double entendre was intentional.

The Penelope Trueheart-Bonkcorset Bad Sex Prize:

She was pleased to find him without underwear. He was hard, thick and had veins like an underground map.

Frankly, I'm speechless. Dumbledore's knee was one thing, but the Doctor's cock?? On the one hand, it would be quite handy if it were true, but you could hardly get it out at Kings Cross for a quick look, could you? And anyway, exactly how closely does it resemble the underground map? Are there yellow and green and silver lines on it? Or an attractive sans serif font for easy reference? And is it divided into Zones? I really do think we should be told. And more importantly, Rose wants to know if her current Oyster is valid, or will she need an extension....
Tags: doctor who, sounds a bit rude
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