Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

While out for a walk on the South Bank today, I stumbled across PLAY Orchestra, a "sound installation" outside the Royal Festival Hall. It's basically a collection of speaker boxes that each represent one of the instruments in an orchestra, and when someone sits on a box, that particular instrument plays a piece of music. So when all the boxes are being sat on, you get to hear the whole orchestra, and when there's just a few people, you hear just those instruments.

Sounds very cultural and inclusive, doesn't it? Yes, in theory... but I also noticed something else. The website says that a certain type of viewer "tries every seat in quick succession, before settling for the loudest." They call these people the "enthusiasts". But what they've failed to notice (or perhaps are just too polite to mention) is that because every box is a speaker, the loudest ones VIBRATE MORE. Yes, all those people are NOT excited by the experience of classical music, they are simply thrilled by the quiverings of their own nether regions! Score: Culture 0, Perviness 1.

Still, it would be highly amusing (and stimulating) to repeat the experiment on a larger scale - perhaps by wiring up every seat in the Royal Albert Hall? Maybe next year's Last Night of the Proms could be sponsored by Ann Summers? After all, as Madonna sang, "Music makes the people come together..."

Also on the topic of cheap musical thrills, here's one that's going out to allemande. Some kindly soul has finally posted a YouTube file of Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie singing that redneck classic "There Ain't But One Way", unofficially known as the Ass-Kicking Song. One to savour as you tap along to the strange rhythms in your head.
Tags: culture and art, sounds a bit rude
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