Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach
redscharlach

An ode to Miss Jones

It has come to my attention that some corners of the Doctor Who fandom contain a startling amount of anti-Martha sentiment. I have stumbled across several nasty clumps of this pernicious substance lately and thought I would try to expunge some of it by penning the following appreciative verse. (If only I was so motivated to clean up my own bathroom floor, but alas, I'm not.)

Now We Are Sick (Of Martha Getting A Raw Deal)
with apologies to A. A. Milne

What is the matter with Martha Jones?
Why does she provoke such spiteful moans?
"Oh, she'll never be Rose, let's pelt her with stones!"
What is the matter with Martha Jones?

What is the matter with Martha Jones?
She's ever so handy in combat zones
And can restart a heart and outsmart robot drones
What is the matter with Martha Jones?

What is the matter with Martha Jones?
So sweet is her smile and so dulcet her tones
That Shakespeare doth swoon and would fain jump her bones
What is the matter with Martha Jones?

What is the matter with Martha Jones?
She's not scared of Daleks or bloodthirsty crones
And she did save the world and she generally pwns
What is the matter with Martha Jones?

What is the matter with Martha Jones?
Her Doc-snogging skills could raise ecstatic groans
And she'd deftly talk dirty if ever he phones
Don't dawdle, Doctor. Call Martha Jones...


Author's Postscript: Having finished this poem, I now reckon that Martha's most prominent failing is that she has never been shown interacting with trombones, Sloanes or the Ramones. I admit it might not have made great television but it sure as heck would have made it easier to find rhymes. Still, I suppose there's always series 4...
Tags: doctor who, poems by me
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