Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

What kind of A to Z would get you here?

Some assorted thoughts on this week's Torchwood episode, Sleeper. At least, this is what I THINK my thoughts were. My secret alien identity probably has a totally different opinion...

  • Did anyone else see the title of this week's episode and think "At last, the Orgasmatron!"? Alas, it was not to be. I bet Jack would only have broken it, anyway.

  • I really don't know why the Torchwood website felt it had to give away the Big Stabbity Arm plotline on its own front page. Perhaps they genuinely want us to spend ten minutes yelling at the screen: "It's not a mystery! She has a secret Big Stabbity Arm, you fools!"

  • Speaking of which, the Big Stabbity Arm was rather reminiscent of Terminator 2, I thought, particular when Psycho Shirt-and-Tie Guy was facing down the guns. I would like to have a terse word with the casting director, though, because Psycho Shirt-and-Tie Guy's attempt at a murderous and bloodthirsty expression came out closer to drunk and gormless. Not a good look for an all conquering alien species, as any Dalek will tell you.

  • I wonder if this alien takeover plot is going to pop up again later in the series? I kind of hope not, because, errr... it's not very interesting. Kudos goes to the actress playing Beth, though, who tackled the whole thing with an admirably straight face, as if it were a piece of Bafta-winning drama on meaningful social issues. But most of the rest seemed very much straight out of last season, especially Gwen's bleeding heart versus Jack's "I am a man on the edge, me" cold-hearted jaw-clenching. But all in all, this episode really only had one source of glee, and it was...

  • IANTO, BLESS HIS HEART. All shall hail his sarky comments and adorable pedantry. Choose your own personal highlight from among the following:

    • His thoughtful critique of Jack's interrogation style. "Shivers down my spine.... ah, it passed."
    • "Or the first sign of exploding." The vowels in that last word were particularly impressive.
    • Jack's atrocious manners in bed. I bet there'll be all sorts of fandom skirmishing about how Gwen knows about Jack's bedside manners, but I reckon she was just winging the witty banter thing and talked herself into a conversational ditch. And besides, it was worth it for Ianto's "Oh, they are. I remember this one ti..." which was priceless.
    • "NOBODY knows more than I do!" Hee, I know just what that's like, because I'm similarly possessive about random trivia myself. Ianto, my pet, you can be on my pub quiz team and together we will conquer the world.
    • "I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen." Not only does he have elite knowledge, but it all comes from the interwebs. Doesn't everyone's?
    • The whole "the phones aren't working" spiel, especially the finger-phone gestures, but with the one caveat that tin cans with bits of string WOULD be working, wouldn't they. If only because the thought of alien terrorists who can control the nation's supply of string is too scary to contemplate.
    • "He is dashing, you have to give him that." BLESS BLESS BLESS.
    • Not wanting to shag Owen, even if the world is ending. Now there is a sentiment that many of us can wholeheartedly get behind.
    • His dim view of applying gaffer tape to the SUV's wing mirrors. Now I bet he'll have to stay up all night delicately scraping off the sticky bits. Plus ça change....

  • Overall then, very uneven, and only Ianto gets actual brownie points. Never mind, roll on next week (for which I haven't seen the trailer, as usual, so your discretion is appreciated).

By the way, I was highly amused that BBC2 elected to follow tonight's Cardiffery with a) the Top Gear iPlayer ad, promoting the now-almost-official TG slogan, "Man Love Rules OK" (by happy coincidence, also the Torchwood slogan!) and then b) a documentary called "The Man Who Eats Badgers". One wonders whether it was meant as an unofficial sequel to last week's Torchwood, "The Man Who Fancies Poodles"?
Tags: torchwood
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