Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

Ironing, but not bored

I don't go to the cinema very much these days, and when I do, the film is usually some subtitled Guardian-reader flick about French teenage lesbian synchronized swimmers or something.* However, on this holiday weekend, I thought I'd take my work-addled brain to see Iron Man instead, and found it to be surprisingly entertaining. Hoorah!

  • Robert Downey Jr was great, just the right combination of arrogant arsehole and charming enough to get away with it. And I loved the fact that he came up on his mate's phone as "The Starkster". (Or possibly El Starkerino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.) Even his inability to clear a bit of space before testing weapons was just about excusable - hey, if you're THAT rich, you really don't care if you accidentally blow up all your shit! Because you can easily spend a tiny fraction of your gazillions on shiny NEW shit!

  • I've got limited patience for CGI under normal circumstances, but it looks great when used for shiny machines with taut silver buttocks. By contrast, the trailer for the new Hulk movie? Looks just as dull and silly as the last one. Oh dear.

  • Even Gwyneth Paltrow was bearable (although, for god's sake, woman, eat some pies!). Of course, part of my brain was squealing in despair about the fact that the only women on display were coiffured sticks and stewardesses (and the lone Humvee driver at the beginning) but that's hardly a surprise. Now can we have a film about a gadget-happy superHEROINE who lives a double life as an international playgirl (with a plane full of muscular stripping air stewards) when she's not kicking ass left, right and centre? Hmm, I think we're going to have a long wait...

  • Embarrassing confession time: I didn't realize that S.H.I.E.L.D. were S.H.I.E.L.D. for ages, because I kept being distracted when the full name was being recited. I even got as far as noticing that the name began with S.H.I., and began theorizing wildly that the name might be Strategic Homeland Intervention Team (hem hem), then when they spelled it out at the end, I nearly slapped myself for my dimness. Alas, my comic-reading past is obviously far too far behind me.

  • One of the reasons that I was being distracted was that Sunday afternoon cinema peril, Bloody Children (TM). Some bloke (I suspect a twentysomething divorced father) had brought along his two kids, a boy aged about 6 and a girl aged about 4. Both of them were very restless during the stuck-in-a-cave part at the beginning, and got occasionally shushed by their dad. Then the boy sat down and started to pay attention when the big robot suits finally appeared, but the little girl was clearly bored silly and spent the remaining hour and a half climbing on seats, crawling down the aisle, asking whiny questions, and when all else failed, trying to escape from the room (at which point her dad would leave his seat and scuttle up the aisle to catch her before she left the building). What kind of a selfish tit makes his child sit through 2 hours of incomprehensible bangs and crashes in the dark, not only boring her senseless but pissing off half the audience? Grrr.

  • Thanks to livii having mentioned it, I remembered that there was an extra bit after the credits, yay. Weirdly, I would have been the only person who stayed for it if I hadn't called out to the couple sitting next to me as they were about to leave. The guy (cute but young) then wanted to stay, and the girl (pouty and clingy) then proceeded to whine all the way through the credits, AND had to have the relevance of the extra bit explained to her. Moral of the story: Guys, choose a geeky girl! Life's much easier that way...

Coicidentally, seeing Iron Man meant that I missed the finale of Tin Man, but I can catch up with that later in the week. And hey, one periodic-table-based guy a night is surely enough for anyone...

(* Such as this one, for example.)
Tags: movies
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