In the meantime, I shall pilfer a leaf out of wheeler's book, and introduce you to an entertaining Wikipedia page that may have escaped your notice until now. In this case, it's the List of monarchs by nickname. It's packed with imaginative naming ideas for potential despots of all stripes, but here are a few of my personal favourites:
- Eric the Memorable of Denmark: Well, have you ever heard of him? No, neither have I.
- Childebert the Adopted of Austrasia: I find it hard to believe that this is a real person who ruled a real country, as opposed to an obscure Dilbert character, but apparently it is. Those crazy Franks, eh?
- Ivailo the Cabbage of Bulgaria: This one seems even fishier (or veggier), especially as his other names reputedly included Ivailo the Radish and Ivailo the Lettuce. But supposedly he was a 13th-century swineherd who led a mass peasant rebellion. History does not record whether he ate all his greens.
- Basil the Bulgar-Slayer of Byzantium: Clearly a shoo-in for his own primetime TV series, but network approval is probably dependent on whether Bulgars look any good with their shirts off.
- James II of England: Not a funny name in itself, but the Irish used to call him "James the Shit", which makes up for in straight-talking what it lacks in subtlety.
Of course, my mind couldn't help but turn towards what my own cognomen ought to be when I become queen. Currently, I am torn between "Jill the Thrill" and "Jill the Just Fabulous", but am perhaps more likely to end up with "Jill the Adequate" or "Whatserface the Obscure". Suggestions are welcome, but let it be known that anyone who mentions "Jilly the Silly" will be removed to the Tower immediately...