So here are my thoughts on Heroes 3x17: Cold Wars.
- Well, the first thing to note is that the deranged sociopath closest to my heart was having some time off this week, so you get to read a set of Heroes-related comments that don't mention Sylar
at allmuch. Won't that be a novelty? And if my hormones get a little restless, I 'll just have to send them down the pub or something.
- When Peter, Matt and Mohinder made their momentous decision to leave everything and do what it takes to survive, it turns out that the "things we can't even imagine" involve sharing a skanky motel room with 1970s retro bedlinen. No wonder they're all in such a tetchy mood. Still, it gives them an opportunity to get Bennet high and have their wicked flashbacky way with him. Perverts.
- It turns out that everything in Bennet's head is in moody and flattering black and white like an arty French film. (Possibly entitled L'Homme aux Lunettes à la Monture d'Écailles.) I half expected to see Juliette Binoche to wander in and whip her top off, but no dice. Still, it could be worse: at least he's not under the delusion that he's Keanu Reeves.
- Ice Cold Angie is very good at sitting stylishly on park benches, but it strikes me that she must have had it sprayed with disinfectant first. Who knows what the local drunks have been doing on it?
- "An antiquated system, desperately trying to remain relevant." Ah, symbolism, your clue to quality drama. This is the tale of one man and his mid-life crisis! But while many men would get a Porsche and/or a jailbait trophy girlfriend at this point, Noah Bennet prefers to start a national security crisis with a side-order of potential genocide. (Stick with what you know, I guess.)
- Matt does a LOT of facepulling this week, even by his own high standards. If I were clever, I'd make a video of his facial expressions to the tune from the Cadbury's Eyebrows ad. But I'm sure you can imagine the results for yourselves.
- Nathan's reveal of his EVIL (TM) plan did at least give me a (sort of) theory as to what is going on in his head. I reckon it could all be a convoluted way of getting rid of his own distasteful (to him) ability, and thus symbolically out of the control of his dad, who insisted on giving it to him in the first place. So it's basically just a very costly and ideologically unsound form of therapy. (Dr Freud to Building 26, I think you're needed.)
- Since Peter and Mohinder do not get the benefit of seeing the flashbacks for themselves, they are reliant on Matt's verbal summaries, which frankly leave a lot to be desired. There's a national emergency on, goddammit, they can't wait until someone posts a recap for this episode! And between flashbacks, we have to sit through a fair amount of tedious bickering. I wonder how Mohinder and Matt ever managed to live together for more than ten minutes, but remain grateful that they haven't started playing the "You mislaid our adopted daughter!" / "No, you did!" card.
- "Don't presume to know anything about me," says Danko. Well, I like a challenge, so I shall dare to presume a few things about him. Number one, he has no idea of what makes a snappy catchphrase. "One of us, one of us"? It'll never catch on! Number two, he's got three computers, so there's NO way that one of them isn't being used for World of Warcraft (or possibly FoxyBingo.com). Number three, he laughs in the face of Peter wielding a gun, which either means that he saw the episode "Our Father" OR he's Y!M buddies with the Haitian and/or Sylar. And number four, he says "Building Two-Six" instead of Twenty-Six, implying that he's lost touch with his humanity so much that he doesn't even count like normal people. On the plus side, he must save valuable time by leaving out that extra syllable. On the minus side, he certainly doesn't choose to spend it on shopping for home furnishings...
- Daphne's alive! Ha, I knew it. There would have been a lot more fuss if she had been really and truly dead. Let's hope she gets better and gets up and does stuff soon, rather than just lying there waiting to be rescued.
- And now Mohinder gets to enjoy the best that high-end national security has to offer, namely a turn on Tracy's chair wearing Tracy's chains, but without her sun-lamps. I guess the funding that Nathan was promised last week hasn't come through yet. Bloody bureaucracy, eh? Shame Mohinder hasn't got his bug powers any more, because they could have stuck him to a giant sheet of flypaper. To make up for this, Nathan seems keen to enter him in a one-man wet t-shirt contest, which adds fuel to the theory that Nathan's big kinky plan is just an excuse to get everyone chained up and sweaty for his own gratification.
- In the end, we find out Bennet's temporary solution for his midlife crisis: it's the scheming allure of the Older Woman! Still, I can't wait to see what the morally grey alternative to Nathan's All-American Evil actually is.
- Whoa, sudden cut to Isaac's old place at the end. Peter, that's not exactly a secret location, is it? In fact it's one of the few sets that everyone knows you've got. Anyway, at least it gives Matt at chance to paint lots of pipe bombs, himself wearing a VERY unflattering vest, and most gasp-inducing of all, Washington going boom! Is a vest covered in pipe bombs enough to make that big a bang? Or is someone going to get their radioactive mojo back? Or is it a whole new nuclear can of worms? The answers will no doubt be revealed in the weeks that follow....
In other TV news, I was distinctly underwhelmed by the series finale of Being Human, but given tonight's amusing casting coincidence, I reckon a crossover with Lark Rise To Candleford could be just the thing to perk up series 2, so writers take note. Vampires in bonnets, that's what the public wants on a Sunday evening!