I was one of the many who received a message this week, informing me that I have NOT been picked to take part in the first month of One & Other, a.k.a. the forthcoming Antony Gormley art installation in which people take it in turns to stand on a plinth in Trafalgar Square for an hour each. Never mind, eh? They still have to pick the guinea pigs for the following three months so you never know, my turn may yet come.*
In the meantime, however, I thought I would give Antony G. the benefit of my vast publicity experience (hem hem) and share a little merchandising idea I've come up with, which will enable everyone to have their own teeny taste of aesthetically based attention.
Picture the scene: a novelty shoe stall in the square, plenty of cash to support me the British art scene, and every pigeon in the place quaking with fear at being stomped on. Worth an hour of contemplation by anyone, wouldn't you say?
* Probably at 4 am on a rainy night in October, knowing my luck. But I shall endeavour to deal stoically with this opportunity if and when it arises, and if it does not, I admit that I won't be massively disappointed...