Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

I'll stick with you baby for a thousand years

Hello, and welcome to Torchwood Slightly-Drunkblogging. This new experimental approach is brought to you by three key facts: the fact that I went out drinking this evening (hic!), the fact that I have to drink a pint of water before bedtime to sober up, and the fact that I might as well listen to Torchwood while doing so. So here we go, and I apologize in advance for any typos, rants, distractions or failures to be funny that might result.

Oh yes, I'm supposed to post a trivia fact first, aren't I? Oops.
Fact: Angler fish, those scary-looking critters that have big gaping mouths and fishing rods on their heads to lure in unsuspecting fishes for dinner, have a very unusual sex life. Big angler fish as we know them are always female: the male version is a tiny little thing that swims about till he finds a girl fish, and bites into her. Their biological systems then fuse, and the male rots away until he's just a pair of testicles hanging off the female. She happily swims about, able to lay fertilized eggs whenever she likes, and never needs to have sex again.

(Note to self: find some trivia facts that are NOT about genitalia, hem hem.)

Okay, enough about fish sex. Time to turn on Torchwood: The Golden Age.

  • "Okay Jack, I'm in position.": hee hee, I bet Ianto says that a LOT.

  • India on the radio: cheapest location shoot ever!

  • "Old flame?" / "Yep.": hee hee.

  • Ianto and Jack cosy up on the chaise longue. Again, this is probably not a first.

  • Ooh, there are a lot of references to gin in this show. Which is good because I love gin very very much. (Hic.) They also mention the Sazerac, in a fit of alcoholic originality.

  • "We were left with only our memories and a copy of Yes, We Have No Bananas.": this was probably the peak of the Duchess's slightly overwrought attempts at Empirical wit, but a close second was "There's nothing like a well-thumbed Kipling", a nudge-nudge niblet apparently stolen from Carry On Up The Khyber and stashed in a timestore in case of comedy desperation.

  • Nelly the Duchess claims to have been "kept going by residual radiation". Several international celebrities are probably researching this method even as we speak. (Cliff, I'm looking at you.)

  • The Duchess then spouts a lot of pro-colonial rhetoric, proving that she probably needs to die horribly before the end of the episode. Her rabid racist ranting goes on for so long that I sort of lost interest and started browsing through Wikipedia instead (hem hem). And then she died, not very excitingly. Who cares? Bit of a damp squib, really.

  • Hee hee, the dramatic climax of the show gives us a chance to hear Jack's having-the-life-sucked-out-of-him acting again! It's not quite as galactically silly as all that Abaddon business at the end of series one, but considering that this is sound only, he's hamming the heck out of it. It's worth noting that prior to this point, the Duchess's sub-school-play performance had been making him look like a master of underplayed thespian delicacy, so presumably he felt a need to rise to the occasion. Bless him.

  • I somehow love the fact that since yesterday, the BBC has realized that lots more people will be listening to this show than is probably usual for Radio 4 plays, and have thus added some jolly exhortations to try their other podcasts. Hey, listeners of the world! Why not become a rabid fan of The Archers? You KNOW you want to listen to an everyday soap about farming folk engaging in adulterous shenanigans and sheep-shearing!

  • In conclusion: while the frequent reiterations of "We want everything to stand still, and the British Empire was great!"/"You can't have everything stand still, and the British Empire was highly dodgy!" wore rather thin very quickly, this was definitely a step up from yesterday's offering, with a decent level of TW teamwork and banter, especially at the beginning, and a few nice bits of wit to distract my attention from the flimsiness of everything else. The Duchess, however, was as annoying as anything, with only the consolation of not actually having to watch her be as woodenly cheesy as she sounded.

Ah, I seem to have come to the end, and to have achieved an acceptable level of pre-bedtime sobriety. In that case, I shall bid you all goodnight.

Night night!
Tags: don't post drunk, torchwood, wonders of nature
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