Connoisseurs of deliriously bad fanfic may be interested to know that where-is-she-now sometime soap actress Martine McCutcheon (best known to international viewers as Hugh Grant's assistant/girlfriend in Love, Actually) has just written a chick-lit novel. A sample can be found here, but more relevantly, an extensive sporking from Guardian readers can be read here. All I can say is that it's disappointing that she didn't make
Turning instead to drama of a much higher quality (hem hem), let's have a look at what's happening in the land of Heroes this weeks. Here are a few SPOILERY thoughts on Ink.
- "My life has been a complex series of disasters" says Claire, apparently pitching her own sequel to A Series of Unfortunate Events. But by her own standards, her existence seems pretty perky at the moment: having some sweet bonding moments with Mr B, acquiring some cute cushion covers and one of those light-up fake fishtanks (classy!), and of course, sharing reading material, girl-on-girl handholding and a secret bout of non-emo cutting with Gretchen. Still, I'll warrant that things will not stay this fluffy for long.
- Despite Claire's understandable reservations, I bet a lot of students would love having the Haitian on call. Yeah, your roommate finding out you've got superpowers may be no big deal. But the night you stagger down the hall with your pants around your ankles, singing a song about goblins and throwing up every ten paces... now THAT you're going to want everyone to forget.
- Just for a moment, we got a glimpse of a promising new detective show: Parkman and Sylar (Disembodied), in which Matt solves crimes with the help of his wisecracking invisible friend ("It's because I ooze charm."). Having said that, as crime-fighting buddy partnerships go, I still prefer the abruptly cancelled but sadly missed Bennet and Sylar (Disgruntled), probably because Bennet's a lot harder to trample into the ground than Matt is. Sylar needs competition to bring out the best (or worst) in him, you see.
- Big cheers for the return of one of my favourite ships from last series: Sylar/stuffed rabbit OTP! Only this time the bunny has gone all pink and fluffy, possibly because
Sylar wuvs it so muchit's all in Matt's brain, which seems to be made predominantly of marshmallow nowadays.
- Speaking of ships, I spy some sledgehammer-subtle foreshadowing of a spot of Peter/Emma the
synesthesiac synesthesist synesthesistresslady who sees sparkly sounds. She may get bonus points for knowing Kai Winn (Deep Space Nine represent!) but given that Peter has not yet learned to beware dodgy Irishmen with tattoos, she does need to stay vigilant. It's surprisingly easy to wind up shipwrecked in a backwater of the space-time continuum, you know.
- But before any of that happens, I sincerely hope that she discovers some kick-ass application of her power. Sparkly lights in themselves are pretty girlie and unlikely to save the world, although I note she also has instantly-learning-the-cello powers, so maybe these can be expanded to include instantly-becoming-a-ninja powers or something. (Yeah, I know. My hopes aren't high.)
- This week's episode was sponsored by Honest Sam Sullivan's Injury Claims Inc. (or should that be Ink?). Simply apply a little earth-based pigment to the dotted line, and you too could be ripping off the medical profession with your elite fingertip Photoshopping skills! No win, no fee, no suspense! Yes, I'm afraid I remain resolutely unintrigued by Samuel's shenanigans, although we did learn a couple of salient facts about him. One, he seems to have spent a large chunk of his youth in the States, which may be a handwave of his messy (to put it mildly) accent. And two, he is EVIL (TM), and gets very annoyed at being left out of dinner parties. (If I were Angela Petrelli, I'd be stocking up on Ferrero Rocher right now.)
- "Have you ever lost a brother?" - ah, dramatic irony! One day, Peter will find out the Dreadful Truth (TM). But before that happens, I foresee a lot of arm-clutching and face-pulling. He should count himself lucky that it's a relatively tasteful tattoo, though. If Samuel had deigned to scar him with a fluffy pink unicorn, that would have been truly dastardly.
- Overall, then: not a stellar episode by any means. Still, anything that keeps Mohinder off my screen for a bit longer can't be all bad, surely?