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Red Scharlach
As an avid fan of the wilder corners of the animal kingdom, I was charmed to hear of the earthshaking discovery that crop circles are made by stoned wallabies. Presumably this explanation holds true only in Australia, though. British crop circles are probably caused by squirrels on scrumpy, and in the US, I don't know... bison on mescaline, perhaps?

Whatever the niggling scientific detail, the whole concept hopped into my imagination, rattled around in there for five minutes, and this thing popped out:

Coming soon to a poppy field picture house near you... Wallabyspotting!Collapse )

I'm now wondering whether a similar principle could be applied to explain other strange phenomena. Is the Bermuda Triangle all down to jellyfish on crystal meth? Is the Abominable Snowman really a yak in an opium haze? Is 99 percent of bad fanfiction written by crack-smoking weasels? Just find the right combination of wildlife and mind-altering substance, and let's see how many global mysteries we can resolve...