April 1st, 2011

bad television

Come into my Night Garden...

As regular readers will know, I am famed for my firm stance against the corruption of this nation's youth by the debauched medium of television. It therefore falls to me to announce a shocking piece of showbiz news.

Due to widespread overexposure to non-organic rice cakes, the children of Britain have terrifying short attention spans and are constantly clamouring for the Next Big Thing. Sure, Rastamouse may be grabbing all the attention at the moment, but unscrupulous TV producers are so hungry for ratings that they're desperate to retool other kids' TV shows to make them appeal to a much wider and more devoted demographic.

I can now reveal that the first show to be selected for souped-up sequelization is that cosy bedtime favourite In The Night Garden and here's an EXCLUSIVE first glimpse at Collapse )