Thy wit is more cutting than a potato-peeler
Thou art more sensitive than a butterfly's feeler
Yet sexier and more permissive than Christine Keeler
Thou knowest that gin, not time, is the greatest healer
And thou wouldst make Russell Crowe happier than any Sheila
Thou deservest the best of all hands from life's dealer
Because others may keep it real, but thou keepst it realer....