As you probably all know by now, JK Rowling has just given birth to her third child, and it's a girl. As I write, the baby's name has yet to be announced. However, I have spent all afternoon raking through dustbins in Edinburgh and have managed to unearth the exclusive that everyone is after: a damp Post-It marked with the Rowling Towers monogram and some highly intriguing scribbles. This torn and tea-stained piece of paper reveals that, after the outraged hubbub and hoo-hah that greeted the release of Order of the Phoenix, JKR has decided that ALL of her future output MUST be specifically targeted to please her fanbase, and with this aim in mind, she has come up with the following shortlist of names for her new offspring. While the requisite talks with her agent and copyright lawyer over the final choice are still in progress, I can now exclusively reveal:-
JK Rowling's Baby Name Shortlist!
MariKariKiri Summertwinkle Persephone Moonglow III Dracordia LaMalfoy Ronisse Dabesta Sirius-So-Totally-Isnt-Deadina Remisiri Foreva !!!!1111one (pronounced Susan) Mione (also possible as a middle name, with the first name Eenimeeni) Slashkenazia Fangurlia Squeeanna Pfanda Mwankia Aineedabetta Illiterette Dave and last but not least, my own personal favourite: Rowling-Rowling (so that anyone pronouncing her full name sounds like they're singing the theme tune from Rawhide....)