Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach

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FILK: Shipping – Molly Weasley's Lament

For your edification and entertainment, I am proud to present a collaborative filking endeavour from myself and allemande, to the tune of that Marlene Dietrich classic, Lili Marlene. (For those of you wondering about the division of labour, Alle was responsible for the scansion and rhyme scheme, and I did the references to bananas and necrophilia. No surprises there, then.)

Shipping: A Mother's Lament
to the tune of Lili Marlene

Enter MOLLY WEASLEY, wearing a belted raincoat and carrying a lamppost. She puts down the lamppost behind her, leans against it and starts to sing:

Underneath the moonlight,
By the Hogwarts gates
Writers, please remember:
There are no secret dates!
No lovers are whisp’ring tenderly
They’re kids, you see,
They’ll always be
Love’s just for me and Arthur
And poor Lily and James.

I would go bananas
If Harry should suggest:
“Ginny, I’ll undress you
And press you to my chest”
Enraged, I would soon punch out his light
With all my might
The dust he’d bite
Love’s just for me and Arthur
And poor Lily and James.

When it comes to shipping,
You’ll find every pair,
All this senseless snogging
Is more than I can bear
I know they are waiting for J.K.
To boldly say:
“They all are gay!”
(Except for me and Arthur
And poor Lily and James.)

M-preg, rape and incest,
They've crossed every line
Even necrophilia
Is now considered fine
Why must they all go to such extremes?
Their fanfic seems
To haunt my dreams
In nightmares, me and Arthur
Dig up Lily and James...

For those interested, the German version by Marlene Dietrich can be found here, while a one-verse-shorter English version by Anne Shelton can be found in this folder.
Tags: filk, harry potter
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