Three HP Drabbles
Meet The New Girl (Same As The Old Girl)
"I do hope we can be friends," said the new girl, her glittering heliotrope orbs sparkling in the first twinkly rays of the morning sun. "I’m Moonshine Sunset Raindrop Mistycloud Thunderbolt Gustybreeze Angel-Pie Beelzelbubba Purgatoria Dantebeatrice Mangoguava Strawberry Shortcake Crème Brûlée Chocolatta Hersheykiss Britney Beyoncé Shakira Jessica Mandymoore Parishilton Johannah Pauline Georgette Ringoria Hotpantschica Rickmania Orlandoisahottie Heathledga Evangelina Evanescencia Kornflower Marilyn Mansonia Nimoyana Shatnetta Klingonia Flintlock Merrypippin Ktang-Ktang Biscuitbarrel von Doomladen Angstovich III."
"Of course you are, dear," said the St Mungo’s nurse distractedly. "Mavis! Another one here for the Lockhart Ward for the Terminally Bewildered. Bring the extra-strength straitjacket...."
* * *
The husky voice sent shivers down his spine. "Can you feel it, Myron?" he breathed. "Is this what you’ve always dreamed of?"
"Oh Gideon," gasped the muscular singer. "You know what I really want...." He trembled as he felt the unmistakable heat and hardness of a throbbing set of hot bagpipes sliding into....
"What the heck is this?" asked Ron, dropping a piece of parchment into Hermione's lap.
Hermione scanned it and sighed. "Well, Ron, the good news is that I think Lavender is over you now. The bad news is, she seems to be writing Weird Sisters real-person slash...."
* * *
Book Seven, Chapter One: An Exclusive Extract!
Three friends stood united on the stark Scottish hilltop.
"If we’re going on this quest," said Harry, his tattooed chest glistening under his ripped silk shirt, "I must face the future as my true self." His leather-clad bottom tautened in anticipation.
Hermione tossed back her scarlet hair. "Oh yes. The difficulty of getting back down this mountainside in stilettos without laddering my fishnets pales into insignificance compared to the joy of being the gothic temptress I really am."
"As long as we're all agreed," said Ron, fidgeting with his corset, and hoping that his nipple piercings would stop stinging soon....