Three Who Drabbles
Dalek: A Missing Scene (No, Really)
Everyone watched in horror. "It’s downloading the entire Internet!" cried the Doctor. Then strangely, he began to smile.
The Dalek felt the data pouring through its systems. Then it felt a sudden craving for busty XXX bAbEs doing it DoGgY-style 4U. It signed onto 3,291 live roleplaying forums simultaneously, and was banned from them all for refusing to post in anything other than CAPSLOCK. The following morning, 980 cases of Viagra were delivered to Van Statten’s base, billed to a Mr D. Lekk. But by then, it was already too late.
dalekangst: OMG. WHY. DOES. EVERYONE. HATE. ME. SO. MUCH?
* * *
Another Earthshaking Pronouncement From Captain Jack
"While you’re both having sex on the console," said Jack conversationally, "I thought you’d like to know that I found the entire Time Lord race hidden in the laundry basket."
"You bastard!!" cried Rose, slapping the Doctor in the face. "You mean you were only pretending to be the last lonely survivor of your people, just to...."
"Pull passing bits of brainless totty? Well, it worked, didn't it?" he smirked.
Rose groaned. "Shouldn't we rescue them?"
"Oh, I think they like living in the laundry basket." said Jack. "They seem to have set up a new religion worshipping my pants...."
* * *
Ten By Name (A Piece of Post-Parting Pointlessness)
"Barcelona!" The new Doctor moved towards the console, and then paused. "Oh. Actually, wait a moment. I need to step out for a second."
Rose was still standing there gobsmacked when he came back a minute later. "I don’t suppose you have a ruler on you, do you?" he asked.
She stared. "A what?"
"A ruler... oh, never mind."
He disappeared again. There was a noise that sounded suspiciously like unzipping, then a pause, then the sound of dancing and shouts of "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
When he reappeared, he looked annoyingly satisfied. "Ten by name," he grinned, "ten by nature...."