Anyway, this moment of recklessness on my part was spurred by being at a very pleasant dinner party last night, and more precisely because I brought up the matter of the Sunday Six and how I didn't have an idea for what to write about this week. So we discussed the issue post-prandially, and came up with... well, nothing very convincing, but here it is anyway. Consider it a learning experience, for me if not for you...
Six Top Sixes That I Am Not Bringing You This Week
(or Why Asking Drunk People To Write The Sunday Six For Me Is Not A Sustainable Strategy)
1. Top Six Vegetables
Suggested by: Shelley, I think.
Discounted because: This journal has plenty of aubergine-related content as it is.
Objection, m'lud! The whole thing foundered on a debate about whether an aubergine is a fruit or a vegetable. Well, it is a fruit, botanically speaking, but it's socially classed as a vegetable, isn't it? But then what about a tomato? Is that more or less of a fruit? Errr...
That unwritten Six in full: Aubergine, spinach, potato, artichoke, asparagus, purple-sprouting broccoli.
2. Top Six People You'd Invite to a Fantasy Dinner Party
Suggested by: Steve.
Discounted because: It is a fairly sound idea, but I couldn't decide on six people last night. And I still can't. So err... I can't do it.
Objection, m'lud! Several people wanted to invite Jesus, but I think he'd be fairly dull as a guest. Unless you ran out of wine after the off-licence was shut, of course.
That unwritten Six in full: Robertson Davies, Dorothy Parker, Niccolo Machiavelli, Stephen Fry, Jorge Luis Borges, some nice bit of totty for me to feel up between courses.
3. Top Six People You'd Invite to an Orgy
Suggested by: Dija.
Discounted because: Pleasant as this sort of speculation can be, it's perhaps a little too tacky for public consumption.
Objection, m'lud! Alistair insisted on inviting Alyson Hannigan six times.
That unwritten Six in full: Well look, if I invite Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant along, the other four invites are really not needed. After all, there's a big difference between being decadent and being greedy....
4. Top Six Things to Do with a Tomato
Suggested by: Shelley.
Discounted because: Yes, tomatoes are versatile. But they're not that versatile.
Objection, m'lud! Debate at this point was still concentrated around the previous topic, so Dija's orgy was going to involve James Marsters and several tomatoes. I stopped wanting to think about the matter after that.
That unwritten Six in full: Eat it, throw it at someone, errr... that's it.
5. Top Six Things We Discussed at Last Night's Dinner Party
Suggested by: Shelley.
Discounted because: Well, it's all a bit self-referential and esoteric, innit. And makes us seem simultaneously pretentious, shallow or wilfully random. Actually, we were just drunk.
Objection, m'lud! Sustained! (i.e. there weren't any.)
That unwritten Six in full: Cherie Blair (the tabloids are unnecessarily cruel about her looks, but hanging out with Carole Caplin does her no favours), the legalization of drugs (would it cause more problems than it resolves?), The Brothers Karamazov (none of us have ever read it properly and Shelley is annoyed because the blurb on her copy spoilered the ending), Top Gear (the funniest thing on TV – fact!), NaNoWriMo (Steve and Dija are both still at it, so to speak), where that entire bottle of port disappeared to (can't imagine *hic*).
6. Top Six Hats
Suggested by: Alistair.
Discounted because: At this point, it was difficult to get across the idea that the Sunday Six is meant to be a discursive endeavour, not just a list of six words. It was fairly difficult to get across any idea, come to think of it.
Objection, m'lud! I thought that perhaps I could choose to write about individual iconic hats (Sherlock Holmes's deerstalker, Steed's bowler) but Alistair was convinced that it should be all about the hats. Alistair is very very fond of hats, but mainly on a conceptual level (i.e. he doesn't go the extra mile and wear them).
That unwritten Six in full: Deerstalker, bowler, homburg, top hat, stetson, bobble hat. I'm not sure about the last one, but everyone else was insistent. And so at this point, I gave in gracefully and retired for the evening...