Red Scharlach (redscharlach) wrote,
Red Scharlach
redscharlach

The Sunday Something: From the Bleeding Awful Paleontologists Society

As an offshoot of my recent bout of Kipling, which contained a gratuitous velociraptor reference, I conceived the idea of writing a dinosaur sonnet. I then discovered that most dinosaur names do not fit easily into iambic pentameter, and this is probably why they are absent from much of the canon of English literature. A sad loss, I'm sure you'll agree, and one that the following ode makes very little attempt at rectifying. Sorry.

One of Shakespeare's Most Prehistoric Sonnets (Possibly)

Shall I compare thee to a dinosaur?
Thou art more horny than Triceratops;
Small beasts do fear thy snarling toothy maw,
That clamps around thy prey until it drops;
When like a Brontosaurus thou dost stomp,
Each footfall echoes like a ton of bricks;
Thou stinkest like a pre-Devonian swamp;
Thy breath would fell an Archaeopteryx;
Thy dulcet tones sound like the howling shriek
Of Pterodactyls in the primal dark,
Quite sure to make the leading lady freak
In any remake of Jurassic Park;
So long, thou great Tyrannosaurus rex!
And yes, this means we WON'T be having sex...
Tags: poems by me
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