The Sunday Something: From the Bleeding Awful Paleontologists Society
As an offshoot of my recent bout of Kipling, which contained a gratuitous velociraptor reference, I conceived the idea of writing a dinosaur sonnet. I then discovered that most dinosaur names do not fit easily into iambic pentameter, and this is probably why they are absent from much of the canon of English literature. A sad loss, I'm sure you'll agree, and one that the following ode makes very little attempt at rectifying. Sorry.
One of Shakespeare's Most Prehistoric Sonnets (Possibly)
Shall I compare thee to a dinosaur? Thou art more horny than Triceratops; Small beasts do fear thy snarling toothy maw, That clamps around thy prey until it drops; When like a Brontosaurus thou dost stomp, Each footfall echoes like a ton of bricks; Thou stinkest like a pre-Devonian swamp; Thy breath would fell an Archaeopteryx; Thy dulcet tones sound like the howling shriek Of Pterodactyls in the primal dark, Quite sure to make the leading lady freak In any remake of Jurassic Park; So long, thou great Tyrannosaurus rex! And yes, this means we WON'T be having sex...